Recently I realized that, as much as I hate to admit it, I, like almost everyone else, want to be around people like myself. Of course, I used to think that I wanted to be around people who were different than me--reason being is that I like to think that I “accept” people of all types. Interestingly enough, however, I find myself intolerant of those who do not also “accept” all types of people. By being intolerant of them, I'm obviously not “accepting” all types of people, because I'm not accepting them. I want to be around people who are open-minded, liberal, and accepting of all types of individuals...just like me. Guess I’m not as tolerant as I thought.
I was constantly battling with the front entrance doors of the Terminal Tower until I realized that they all swung to the left.

Left to right: "Strong-Boy Stromboli" - "Bath Time" - "Whatchu Lookin' At?"

So yesterday we bought a cute little house, and it happened to be the one (after looking at many, many houses) that Max decided to have a big poop in. (Don't worry--it was properly contained.)
Here are some photos showing little Max in various poses that have inspired a few of his many nicknames.


Left to right: "Sugar Smax" - "Mr. Serious" & "The Look" - "Mr. Turtle"

What's missing: Ol' Popeye (AKA Mr. One-Eye). I'll try to get a photo of that one soon. Boy, oh, boy, it's impossible to get anything done with him around. Ya just wanna stare at him and play with him all day...

On June 25 at 8:09 AM, Max entered the world. We love him very much, and so far he has peed on the floor of two of the rooms in our apartment.

Maximilian Merendino Carroll

An observation this morning: A few days ago, on my walk to work, I took a particular shortcut; it was a new one for me--a quick cut across an urban parking lot that I hadn't seen before (the shortcut was not visibly apparent). I thought at the time, "Well, this is a nice surprise...I'll go this way..." I arrived at work and forgot about it completely.

Three days later, along the same route (I take different paths to work for variety), before I knew it, my body had involuntarily turned down the same shortcut. There was no conscious effort involved, in fact my mind was heavily occupied with other thoughts. Some sort of coordination between my subconscious mind and my body had occurred, and I was now taking the shortest distance between two points.

It made me think: I'd like to try an experiment. Take an urban area, say a 10-block by 10-block zone, with a lot of irregularities internally, and ask 100 or more people to participate. Then set a "Point A"--the beginning--and a "Point B"--the destination. Set up some barriers in the zone--things that prevent people from taking the obviously shortest route. Then create several hidden shortcuts that are far from obvious.

I'll bet that before 10 minutes elapses, everyone will be taking the shortcuts. The Path of Least Resistance, an irresistible, instinctive force, will govern the situation.

I ponder sometimes about all the spam that I get--in fact also about the amount of spam that everyone receives--and it makes me think... Spammers are a type of bottom-feeder within the information economy. Not only are they email marketers, which are bottom-feeders already, but they are the lowest type of email marketers, often using deceptive techniques in an attempt to separate one from his or her money. Then I look at my Popfile history, and it's buckets tell me that only 16.5% of the email I receive is legitimate (non-spam). Then, you know, naturally, I start to get a little upset. But I consider: Perhaps these bottom-feeders have a true place in our internet-economy…indeed, in our economy as a whole. They have always been around, after all, in one form or another. Could it possibly be that the snake-oil salesman serves a legitimate purpose? The most important thing: Bottom feeders exist in nature, in ecosystems…and they comprise important parts of those ecosystems. Bottom feeders are part of the cycle in nature--are they simply a part of the cycle in economics as well? Is it misguided and futile to try to get rid of them? That said, what purpose do they serve? Is it to punish naive customers for being so naive? Is it a “survival of the fittest” kind of thing? Is it the economic-ecological way of ridding the weak and uninformed economic agents from the game?

e
y = e ^ x - 3.141592654

If there's one thing we've learned from the internet...it's this: distributed systems work. In any sort of goods or services production, we're always trying to achieve economies of scale--ever since Henry Ford taught us that lesson. But economies of scale can blaze a trail of destruction in their wake, because they have such massive levels of inputs (often natural resources) and outputs (what is produced PLUS whatever the waste product may be). Distributed systems have small point inputs and outputs of whatever they're producing-distributing-using, and aren't as destructive. I'm speaking in the most general terms possible here--it doesn't matter what the distributed system is "carrying".

Back to our example. The internet, and similarly P2P networks, rely on small scale, interconnected, redundant "pieces" to achieve their power. We should have learned by now that the network, not the central plant, is the key to our future. Actually, I believe we have already learned this lesson (nature of course taught us first), but there is much in this world that is highly dependent on the old ways of thinking, and fearful of losing economies of scale (because what would we do then?), so it will take a long time for things to change.

A Slight Misperception

I love my (less than) 15-minute walk to and from work. There is one thing, however, that I don't like about it: You see, I walk through an area of downtown Cleveland called "The Flats". This is the traditional industrial area of Cleveland down by the winding Cuyahoga River; giant freighters pass through there four or five times a day, navigating their way through the difficult passage. This is all very cool. But, being the gradually gentrifying area that it is, it contains a number of low-cost surface parking lots. People park at these and then walk up the hill to downtown. If you park in the flats, you're known for "getting a good deal" so to speak (i.e., being cheap). What I don't like about my walk is that people think I'm just another Flats-parker walking back from my office downtown, heading to my car for a journey back to the suburbs. Hey, I don't PARK in the Flats, I LIVE there! Oh, well, I guess after all I'm just one of those shallow people worried about my image, aren't I?

Using POPFILE to filter my email (which appears to be 98.6% accurate after about 1-1/2 months of training), I’ve learned that 81.8% of my messages are spam, and a mere 18.2% are legit. Ugh.
Every morning at 3:00 AM...the WILD RUMPUS begins. It seems to last about three hours, and then the little kicker goes back to sleep.
We and our human contemporaries have a strong tendency to immerse ourselves in self-created environments. The dominance of the media in the home, for better and for worse, and which attests to this, is readily apparent to most of us.

So my opening statement probably comes as no surprise to most people. What surprises me, however, is how immersed in our own environments we can be even when we're in the public realm. I suppose the consumer item that in a sense started all of this was the Sony Walkman, in the 1970s. Think about it, for the first time ever, one had the ability to control the emotional context of one's own sphere. You no longer were subject to the chaotic whims of surrounding background noise and interruptions.

Today, the situation I'm describing is even more pronounced, because we have even more ways to enclose ourselves while in public. We still have music, of course, but also mobile phones, all sizes of computers, and well, I guess we also still have all the traditional media--books, newspapers, etc. I'm enclosing myself in public as I write this, in fact.

I can't help but think of William Gibson's mental environments when I think of how many ways there are to isolate ourselves while around others. It's like "jacking-in" to another world.

But then I think, are we really isolating ourselves? Perhaps it's just another way, maybe even a BETTER way, of connecting to others, and to the world around us. Connection by choice, not just by propinquity. Perhaps both are good, as long as a balance is maintained. We are still physical beings, after all.

Some days are better than others...
Today is the third anniversary of the day Rose and I eloped and flew to Florence. Today, I guess intended as a gift, baby gave me my first good strong kick from inside Rose’s belly. What a nice anniversary present!

Three is a powerful number. It is the structural number—in physics three points of connection are all you need to achieve structural stability. Three is the tie-breaker. One is three. You and me and baby makes three.

Here's the little guy, lookin' right at ya!

We've got a little one on the way, oh boy oh boy! He's just now starting to kick and flip a bit! The little package is due 7-2-03. It's hard to explain, but we actually feel as if we can sense his personality from inside there...how crazy is that?
More Useful Notions

The Bottom of the Bowl
The stuff at the bottom of the bowl is the tastiest. The most interesting discussions take place near the end of the meeting, or afterward. You only find the good stuff when you dig--and wait.

Always Stop or Take the Side Road
A roadtrip is worthless unless you make several (preferably unplanned) stops. Side roads are more conducive to random stops than highways. If you're going to take the journey, what fun is it if you only have highways to remember?

Flying into the city, I notice the pattern of the pre-WWII urban fabric: Housing, housing, housing, housing, institution; housing, housing, housing, housing, institution; housing, housing, housing, housing.

Later, I notice the post-WWII form: Housing, housing, housing, housing; housing, housing, housing, housing.

Flying is Quicker

On Friday I had to do a “fly-in, fly-out” to Chicago for work. Everything went smoothly—the day was a bit rushed, but hey, that’s how it goes. I’m just amazed by the fact that I had to stop what I was doing at 4:30 PM and start heading toward O’Hare for my 7 o’clock flight. Then the flight was delayed, putting me back in Cleveland at 9:45 PM, and home at 10:15 PM. Five and three-quarters hours door-to-door. The drive from Chicago to Cleveland is six hours.

Right or Left?

My office is in the Terminal Tower in downtown Cleveland, Ohio. My wife and I live in a neighborhood that we call “Dudso”—Down Under the Detroit Superior Overpass—having taken our inspiration from Brooklyn’s “Dumbo” (…and we are officially claiming credit for originating this term…let it be known). I walk to work through the “Flats”—it’s about a fifteen-minute journey that is shortened (perceptually, at least) by my trusty iPod.

When I finally arrive at climate-controlled, indoor space near the end of my morning’s journey, I get an Americano from the coffee stand near the Terminal Tower’s elevator bank. The coffee stand is at the north edge of a five-story atrium, on the second level. There are open corridors all around the atrium and you can watch people walking about. At the south end of this atrium, also on the second level, is the terminus of a very long escalator, which ascends from the primary transfer station for the region’s three light-rail lines.

Approximately every twelve minutes, hundreds of people come pouring out of this escalator, having just ended their morning commute. As people step off the escalator, they have a choice—go right or go left. Now, trust me on this one, 99% of these people are heading toward the northernmost exit of this large indoor complex, which leads to Cleveland’s Public Square. The “left” path and the “right” path both lead to the same destination, thus a given individual has no particular incentive, as I see it, to take the right or left path.

Why then, do at least 75% of the people getting off the escalator head to the right?

I’ve thought of a couple of possibilities, neither of which inspire extraordinary confidence:

  • There are large, nicely reflective windows on the not-yet-open-for-daily-business Ann Taylor store (which lies on the right hand side) in which people can check their full-length appearance as they’re walking to work. About half of the people that walk past this window take a look at themselves. (But, there’s a Victoria’s Secret store with very “appealing” window displays on the left side—you’d think that would have some draw…)
  • The service counter to the coffee stand (you know, where people wait for their lattes) is on the right side. Aside from that the coffee stand is perfectly centered and symmetrical about the atrium.
  • Most people are right-handed.
Could it be...that most people are really right-biased? Perish the thought.
A note on my walk to work: The roads are salted, but the sidewalks are not.
Don’t scrutinize beauty too much…just enjoy it when it occurs.
Earlier this week Rosie and I watched Notorious C.H.O., because we like Margaret Cho, even though she has possibly the dirtiest mouth of any comedian, ever, bar none. Rose and I don’t usually go for the performers who “work blue”, but Cho is so smart that we can’t resist her (plus, she really knows who she is). I believe we were first introduced to her through Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist.

Anyway, amidst all the raunchy jokes, some incredible truth emerged—not only about her life, but also about humanity. I’m quoting from memory here: “If you are a person of color, if you are gay, if you female, if you are a person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, you are a minority in this country.”

It made make think: It's true; racism and classism are alive and kickin’ in 2002 in the U.S. of A.

P.S. – Be sure to watch I’m The One That I Want, her first movie; it’s even better than Notorious.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about something that disturbs me just a bit. I’m not sure if it disturbs me because I’m afraid the thought is elitist, or because I’m afraid the thought might actually be true.

Here’s the thought: There are places, both natural and man-made, that have more dignity than their inhabitants. In fact, although they are not living things, these places and buildings seem to be more human, to have more spirit and character than the homo sapiens who inhabit them.

To me, it’s sad when a building has more life than the people in it. I seem to be observing this all to often recently. Perhaps it’s because I keep interacting with people who have a hollow space inside them where substance, caring, the human spirit should be.

What A Difference A Day Makes

Or, Friday Was Better Than Monday. Or, When It Rains, It Pours.

Consider this scenario: You go to sleep at 11:59 PM one night, and things are as they have been for half a year. You go to sleep twenty-four hours later, knowing that you’re going to be a father, and knowing that the job you’ve been trying to get for the past year-and-a-half is now yours. Life is funny. Right now, life is also very good.

So I had an interesting time in New York City yesterday. Into LaGuardia at 7:30 AM, out at 10:00 PM—it was a long day. Here are a few events that were of some note:
  • On the flight in, the Dash-8 had about 12 people on it (a full flight by Ithaca standards), and we were graced by the presence of Cornell University President Hunter Rawlings, who is exactly like Spalding Gray. (Incidentally, my favorite regional aircraft is the Embraer 145.)
  • The shuttle I took from LGA to Grand Central Terminal ran off the road and knocked down three trees and a light post shortly after leaving the airport. All forty of us exited the bus at that point, no one hurt fortunately, had amusing conversations in the light rain, boarded the next shuttle and were on our merry ways again in about a half hour. I was only fifteen minutes late to my first meeting.
  • I had something called “Ipswitch Clam Panroast” ($13) for dinner at the Oyster Bar & Restaurant at Grand Central Terminal. This was perhaps the highlight of my day.
  • The flight back to ITH was delayed 3 times, finally putting me back home around midnight. While annoying, this did give me the chance to have a nice drink with a friend from Cornell's Real Estate Program. Fortunately, I am married to a woman who is willing to pick me up late at the airport even when she isn’t feeling well.
Typical crappy Monday.
Siegfried & Roy: Masters of The Impossible Plastic Surgery TechniquesThe harsh fiery altar of probability that is Las Vegas:
  • Tuesday, at Caesar’s Palace: Gambled $10, won $35, up $25 for the day.
  • Wednesday, at Treasure Island: Started with $25, gambled $20, won $60, up $65 for the week.
  • Thursday: No gambling.
  • Friday, at the Venetian: Started with $65, gambled $20, won $80, lost $60 doing more gambling, still up $65 for the week—held at par from Wednesday.
  • Saturday, at the Luxor: Started with $65, gambled $30, won nothing, still up $35 for the week.
So, we left Las Vegas with a stunning $35 more in our pockets than when we arrived. Take THAT, city of sin.

Sidenote: If you ever try to call gambling "gaming" in my presence, I'll smack you.

What you are shouts so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last night Rose and I had a very entertaining dinner with a law professor from Cornell who, interestingly enough, found himself—completely by chance—at a poker table with Redd Foxx at the MGM Grand in Vegas in the ‘70s. Now that’s rich.
...He slept the sleep of the conscience-free and the weary.

From Tom Sawyer.

I learned something this weekend about road aggression, baby boomers, and SUVs--all thanks to my Dad.

My parents had come to town for a visit and we were driving to breakfast. My dad was driving (an SUV, I should note) on a two-lane one-way road with parallel parking spaces on both sides. Being a Sunday morning in the city's Primary Breakfast Restaurant Zone ("PBRZ"), most of the spaces were occupied. My dad saw an available parking space, and nose-dived for it across the other lane of traffic, interestingly enough cutting off another SUV in the process. The other vehicle was in fact the same model as his.

Someone (possibly me) made a joke about aggressive SUV drivers (he he), which my dad heard. He laughed, not too enthusiastically, and proceeded to explain something:

"Jas, have you ever noticed that Baby Boomers are really fast and aggressive drivers?" Actually, I had always thought that it was just SUV drivers who were like this, but now that he mentioned it, yes, maybe I had noticed that.

He went on to explain that his generation grew up driving muscle cars, and as they got older, they never really lost their desire for fast driving and road power. Which explains why so many SUVs are owned by Baby Boomers. In their minds, they're still behind the wheel of a '67 Chevelle. Interesting, eh?

Definition. Cafe Americano: American drip coffee--Italian style. Made from equal portions of espresso and boiling water. This results in a stronger version of brewed coffee. ... and I can make one better than any coffee house.
Forget it, Jake.

A couple of nights ago, Rose and I watched Roman Polanski's "Chinatown." Jack Nicholson was at the top of his form--in fact, one is reminded what a truly great actor he is (was?). All throughout this amazing film, I couldn't help but think of the pathetic "A Few Good Men," in which Nicholson also starred. It seems that he and Tom Cruise were cast in that film with the intention of conveying the message, "here's a great actor from yesterday (Nicholson), and a great actor from today (Cruise)." But putting Tom Cruise next to Nicholson on the screen is like putting White Zinfandel next to Grand Cru Bordeaux--a laughable contrast that only makes sense to the simplest of minds. A film like Chinatown (produced by a Hollywood studio, it should be noted) literally makes me want to cry when I think about the wretched debris being turned out by the mainstream studios today. But, as people are fond of telling me, they're just giving the public what they want. And to that I say: my disgust with mainstream American taste is not misplaced. So there.

Now in the job search pot: Chicago-3, New York-1, and Cleveland (again?)-1. I think I need to create some sort of tracking mechanism for this arduous, protracted process.
I don't believe that you should “dance like nobody's watching.” I think that you should remember that people probably are watching, and that you might just look like an idiot as you flail around carelessly.
Earlier this week, Rose cooked the most amazing meal for the two of us. Before I describe it, let me just say that I don’t cook. I am a fierce enjoyer of food, but I really am no good at all at cooking. My point is that while I love to eat wonderful food, it takes a lot before I actually go so far as to analyze and lovingly describe a meal. The other night, I reached that point, so here I go.

Rose prepared artichokes, stuffed with meat and cooked in a tomato-garlic-etc. sauce that she whipped up (she can do that—just whip things up—and they taste good). It’s an old meal, a preparation that’s been around forever, one that she grew up with. It’s “peasant” food; it’s just the kind of meal that’s really good for your soul. Very tactile; eating those leaves you just can’t help but get your hands messy. It’s one of those meals that makes you laugh as you eat it…so good, an experience. Coupled with a great wine: formula for an incredible evening. I was lying in the middle of the floor laughing after dinner; it wasn’t from the alcohol.

A few days ago I drove around campus looking around, saying to myself, "Oh, I've been there," or "Oh, I haven't done that yet." As I was doing this I realized that I'm really going to miss Cornell. It's the combination of the quality of the institution and the sheer beauty of the place that creates this emotion. The large, sprawling campus is nicely broken into smaller exterior spaces, nearly all of them pedestrian-oriented. People walk everywhere--the foot dominates the tire by far. Nearly all of the buildings on campus are fine examples of their architectural style: traditional, modern or post-modern. Vegetation abounds, and views are carefully constructed. It's truly a "human" place.
Today in the Southern Tier the weather was beautifully gray and rainy, and appropriate for remembering things. For me, it was the first day of fall.

Slugz.

What I have learned this summer: to respect slugs. Here you see a California Banana Slug in the bottom photograph, and a Standard-Issue New York Slug on top. We say hello to the gray slugs every night coming home (very careful not to step on them!) and in the morning we observe the beautiful trails they have left across the sidewalk, which look like strands of crystal.
There is a fine line between showing one's pride and abusing the flag.Rose: simultaneously showing her undying patriotism and expressing the irony of sitting on a flag that has been fashioned into a patio-chair with beer-cozies.
Holding patterns in life are just like holding patterns in airplanes: You go around in circles and it makes you sick.
I've talked about this before--I have scale problems. I suppose it's a product of being raised in an era when interconnected thinking is prevalent. My parents, Baby Boomers, grew up under the strict umbrella of industrial-age thinking. Things and phenomena were examined by dissecting them into pieces. Those of us called "Generation X" have grown up with at least some exposure to more holistic methods of thinking. This is good, because as we all know by now it's a closer parallel to the manner in which the world truly operates.

For me, however, it causes problems. I absolutely find it mind boggling to separate one event or thing or person from another. When I analyze situations and try to problem-solve, I find it difficult to put outer boundaries on the domain of the problem. I want to keep connecting everything to everything--leading me to endlessly complex and insoluble situations.

I became better at putting edges on things during my four years of practicing architecture, and during my two years at business school. It's no surprise--both architecture and industrial-age business theories (which, yes, are still part of the contemporary MBA) have at their core a mechanistic view of the world, one that encourages piecemeal analysis.

I don't want to define edges. I don't want to have my problems neatly encapsulated. (Well, maybe I want to, but it seems against my nature to do so.) As a result, I'll continue to live with my scale problems--perhaps some day they'll actually come in handy.

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." Albert Camus, 1913-1960
Today: I saw a dog being pulled in a red wagon by its owners (an older couple). The dog was not injured.
We're moving today. The movers are here right now. My goodness--it's much better to have movers than to move yourself. It's worth every penny.
I come from a special family, with special talents--like my Grandpa, who can do this:

Handy!